I've studied with a LOT of teachers over the past four years.
Breathwork facilitators in Bali. Energy healers who promised transformation. Meditation teachers. Somatic practitioners. Shadow work guides. Each one offered something valuable—a new lens, a different tool, a way of seeing patterns I'd missed.
But when I look at the core of how I actually work with clients—the part that creates the deepest, fastest shifts—almost all of it comes from one person:
Dr. Jon Connelly, the founder of Rapid Resolution Therapy.
Not because RRT is the only method that works. But because Jon understood something most practitioners miss entirely: how to actually take responsibility for creating change in someone else's mind.
Here's what studying with him for over two years taught me—and why it changed everything about how I practice.
Lesson #1: The Practitioner Takes Full Responsibility for the Outcome
This is the exact opposite of traditional therapy.
In traditional therapy, if you're not getting better after months or years, the implicit (sometimes explicit) message is: You're not ready. You're resisting. You need to do more work.
In RRT, if the client isn't shifting—it's on me.
Not because I'm a miracle worker. But because it's my job to find the angle that works for their specific mind. If one approach doesn't land, I try another. And another. Until something clicks.
This isn't about ego. It's about accountability.
I know how it feels to sit on the other side—thinking you're failing at life, wondering if you're the exception that no one can help. I've been that person in the therapist's office, feeling broken while they took notes and nodded sympathetically.
That experience made me a better practitioner.
Because I refuse to leave someone stuck just because the first method didn't work. I keep digging. I keep adjusting. I keep trying different keys until we find the one that unlocks their particular pattern.
And when it finally clicks? When I watch someone's face change mid-session because something that's been stuck for years just... released?
That's not just satisfying. That's why I do this work.
Lesson #2: Everyone's Mind Responds to Different Things (And That's What Makes This Fascinating)
I'm essentially a mind detective.
Some people light up when I explain the neuroscience. They need to understand why their brain stores traumatic memories the way it does. Why anxiety isn't a flaw—it's a nervous system that learned to be hypervigilant when it needed to be, and now can't turn off.
For them, logic unlocks everything.
Other people? The neuroscience goes in one ear and out the other. But tell them a metaphor—your brain thinks your boss is a lion—and suddenly they get it. The story bypasses the analytical mind and speaks directly to the part that's been stuck.
(Side note: You will hear about the lion and the zebra in our first session. It's that good. It's changed my life and the lives of dozens of my clients.)
Then there are the people who don't need explanations at all. They need to experience the shift. So I guide them into a mini-meditation mid-session—a moment where they can feel their nervous system recalibrating in real time.
And some people? They don't resonate with meditation. They need something else entirely.
Here's what I love about this: Every single mind is different. Every person's subconscious has its own language, its own entry points, its own logic.
My job isn't to force everyone through the same method. My job is to figure out their language and speak it fluently.
The more I do this work, the more I realize how endlessly fascinating the brain is. No two sessions are the same. No two patterns unlock the same way.
And that's the whole point.
Lesson #3: Nothing Is Too Traumatic. No Pain Is "Unfixable." (No, but really.)
RRT became semi-known because of its effectiveness with sexual trauma.
I'll be blunt: I've watched dozens of sessions where Jon works with people who've experienced sexual assault. These aren't easy sessions. These aren't surface-level "let's talk about your feelings" conversations.
These are sessions where decades-old trauma gets neutralized. Permanently. Often in under an hour.
And at the end, the person says some version of the same thing:
"I know it happened. I can recall it. It just doesn't feel bad anymore."
The first time I watched this happen, I couldn't believe it. How could something that devastating—something that had controlled someone's entire life—just... stop having power?
But it does.
Because trauma isn't stored as a "memory" the way we think of memories. It's stored as an unresolved threat. The subconscious thinks the danger is still happening. So it keeps you in survival mode—hypervigilance, panic, avoidance—trying to protect you from something that already ended.
When we teach the subconscious that the threat has passed? The trauma stops being trauma. It becomes information.
This is what sealed the deal for me to study RRT seriously.
If you can neutralize that—the most severe, life-altering pain—then you can neutralize anything.
Anxiety? Limiting beliefs? Self-sabotage? Imposter syndrome?
If RRT can handle sexual trauma, it can handle whatever you're carrying.
And so far? It has. Every single time.
Lesson #4: Your Mind Isn't Sabotaging You. It's Trying to Help You (And Doing a Terrible Job of It).
This was the most mind-blowing shift in how I understand stuck-ness.
No matter how badly you're struggling mentally—no matter how self-destructive your patterns seem—your subconscious is trying to protect you.
It's just using a strategy that doesn't work anymore.
Let me give you an example:
Someone comes to me with severe anxiety. Every time they try to step into the spotlight—post on social media, speak up in meetings, put their work out there—their nervous system freaks out.
On the surface, it looks like self-sabotage.
But here's what's actually happening:
At some point (often in childhood), being visible felt dangerous. Maybe they got criticized. Maybe they were mocked. Maybe their parent couldn't handle their success because it triggered the parent's own insecurities.
So the subconscious learned: Being seen = danger.
And now? Years later? That program is still running. Every time they try to be visible, the subconscious says: "NOPE. Danger. Shut it down."
It's not sabotage. It's protection.
The subconscious is trying to keep you safe using outdated information.
Once we untangle that—once we show the subconscious that being seen is no longer dangerous—the anxiety dissolves.
Not because we "cured" it. But because we updated the program.
The "If Only" Loop (And What It Actually Means)
Here's another example that blew my mind:
People with trauma often get stuck in "if only" loops.
"If only I hadn't had that argument with him before he left...""If only there had been a stop sign, the accident wouldn't have happened...""If only I had said no that night..."
On the surface, this looks like rumination. Obsessive thinking. Inability to let go.
But according to RRT, here's what's actually happening:
The subconscious is trying to undo the trauma.
It's replaying the event, searching for the moment where it could have intervened. Looking for the version of reality where the bad thing didn't happen.
The subconscious doesn't understand that the past is fixed. It thinks if it just finds the right thought, the right reframe, the right "if only"—it can prevent the trauma from having happened.
Once you understand this, everything changes.
We're not trying to stop the rumination. We're teaching the subconscious: "It already happened. And you survived. The threat is over. You can stop trying to undo it now."
And then? The loop stops.
Because the subconscious finally understands: there's nothing left to fix. The danger has passed.
What This All Means for You
If you've been stuck for years—if you've tried therapy after therapy, method after method, and nothing has fundamentally shifted—it's not because you're unfixable.
It's because no one has spoken the language your subconscious understands yet.
Your mind isn't broken. It's just running old programs that used to keep you safe but now keep you stuck.
And when someone knows how to access those programs directly? When they take full responsibility for finding the right key to unlock your specific pattern?
Change happens fast.
Not because it's magic. Because you're finally working at the right level, with the right tools, with someone who refuses to leave you stuck.
The Bottom Line
These four lessons changed how I practice:
I take full responsibility for creating change (it's my job to find what works for you)
I meet your mind where it is (not force you through a one-size-fits-all method)
I believe nothing is unfixable (if it can work for severe trauma, it can work for you)
I understand your "stuck-ness" is your mind trying to help (we just need to update the strategy)
And here's what that means for you:
You don't have to spend years in therapy. You don't have to keep trying methods that don't fit your mind. You don't have to accept that some pain is just "part of you now."
You just need someone who knows how to unlock what's actually stuck.
Ready to experience a different way to update your mind?
